Who Has a Seat at the Table This Holiday Season?

The holidays are often portrayed as a time of joy, love, and togetherness. But for many, the season brings complexities that can feel overwhelming. Family gatherings may not always be filled with warmth and understanding. For survivors of trauma, the holidays can be especially challenging when the people around the table include those who have caused harm, those who didn’t believe, or those who simply don’t know. At Firefly Therapy, we understand the weight of these situations, and we want to share ways to care for yourself this holiday season.

Setting Boundaries: Protecting Your Peace

Not every gathering is worth your energy. It’s okay to say no to events that don’t feel safe or supportive. You have the right to prioritize your mental health. Before committing to plans, ask yourself:

• Will this gathering support my well-being?

• Are there people attending who make me feel unsafe or invalidated?

  
  

If the answer is no, consider alternative ways to spend the holidays that nurture you, such as smaller gatherings with trusted friends or spending the day in self-care activities that bring you peace.

Stepping Away When You Need To

Even in gatherings you choose to attend, there may be moments where conversations or interactions feel triggering or overwhelming. Give yourself permission to step away. Excuse yourself to take a walk, spend time in another room, or take deep breaths to re-center. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for prioritizing your emotional safety.

Having an Exit Plan

Going into a gathering with a plan can help you feel more in control. If you’re worried about feeling trapped, make sure you have an exit strategy. Drive yourself if possible, or coordinate with a trusted friend who can support you if you need to leave early. Knowing you have the option to leave at any time can ease the anxiety of attending challenging gatherings.

Identifying Safe People

Safe people are those who make you feel seen, heard, and supported. Before attending a gathering, identify who those individuals are in your life. Stick close to them during events, and lean on them if things become difficult. Sometimes, having one ally in the room can make all the difference.

Wishing You a Season of Joy and Peace

The holidays are a time when we’re often encouraged to focus on togetherness, but your well-being should always come first. By setting boundaries, stepping away when needed, planning your exits, and staying close to safe people, you can navigate the season with strength and care.

At Firefly Therapy, we wish you a holiday season filled with as much joy and peace as possible. Remember, you deserve to feel safe and supported—no matter whose seat is at the table.