How Often Do We Give Ourselves a Chance to Relax?

In New York City, the rhythm of life is fast and unforgiving. We push ourselves through long workdays, late nights, and crowded commutes, rarely pausing to check in with ourselves. For many, this constant movement is a sign of success. It’s woven into the culture: being busy is a badge of honor.

But what happens when this pace is not simply about productivity, but about avoiding something deeper? For those with a history of trauma, staying busy can become a survival strategy. It can mean packing your schedule so tightly there’s no time to sit with uncomfortable feelings or memories. It can look like hypervigilance, where being on alert and moving constantly becomes the norm, even though the danger has long passed.

It’s important to recognize that rest is not the absence of productivity—it’s the foundation of sustainable wellbeing. Our bodies and minds need periods of quiet and restoration to process, to heal, and to grow. Without these pauses, we risk burnout, chronic stress, and a disconnection from our own needs and desires.

Slowing down can be challenging, especially if you’ve learned to equate busyness with worth. It may feel vulnerable, awkward, or even frightening. But allowing yourself space to notice your thoughts, to check in with your body, and to simply be, is a powerful act of self-compassion.

Choosing to move because it nourishes you, not because of what thoughts or memories may come if you have moments of down time. 

As you navigate this month, we encourage you to explore moments of stillness alongside your busy days. Notice what surfaces when you slow down. Offer yourself patience and kindness. Healing doesn’t require perfection; it requires presence.

In therapy, we often guide clients in learning to tolerate these quiet spaces. The more familiar they become, the more they can offer a refuge rather than a threat. This July, consider how you might build this refuge within yourself, one pause at a time.

Rest isn’t about giving up on your goals or stepping away from life—it’s about making room to feel, process, and heal so you can engage more fully. Slowing down can feel unfamiliar, even unsettling, but it also creates space for clarity, creativity, and genuine connection.

If you’re looking for gentle guidance, we’ve created a free 5-day self-care challenge that you can download and try this month. It offers simple daily practices to help you build moments of rest, reflection, and compassion into your routine. Click here to download and begin your journey today.

Firefly 5-Day Self-Care Challenge Checklist .pdf

Download PDF • 48KB

Remember: you don’t have to do this alone. Therapy can provide a supportive, nonjudgmental space to explore what comes up when you slow down. Whether you’re just beginning your healing journey or continuing to grow, you deserve moments of rest and care—now and always.